Trust. No, I am not talking about lovers breaking apart.
Trust would be one of the many faces you show off everyday. It has been with you since the day you were born. It is the belief that you wake up with every morning. It is bred by your bedside every night. The belief that helps you rise up and the conviction that makes you step out. In fact, it is you.
She laboured with this belief everyday for this belief in her. She laboured relentlessly to engrave it in this relationship just like her name was engraved in golden letters on the pen you gifted to her when she was 12.
She worked the hardest. She toughened herself up. But if this belief is born and bred at home, and you have failed to offer it to her in the warm spaces she always returns to, she has not failed along with you.
There is a particular sort of liberation in the realization that the ones you have tried hardest to convince were never worth the hard work; the realization that the hard work was only you all along, the work that has made you strong enough to let go and set out to conquer the world on your own two feet.
The golden engraving has become hazier over the years. The rusty air is eating away the glossy letters. If she hasn't convinced you enough in 19 years, she might not be able to convince you in the next 19 at all. Somewhere during all those years, I think she engraved those letters on her spirit. This time, it holds permanence, even with the leaden air. Above all this mist and beyond these man-made doubts, she learned to trust herself. Today and tonight, she feels, she need not wait 19 years longer. She need not wait at all. She is almost ready to let you go. Ready to leave. She is almost herself.
Trust would be one of the many faces you show off everyday. It has been with you since the day you were born. It is the belief that you wake up with every morning. It is bred by your bedside every night. The belief that helps you rise up and the conviction that makes you step out. In fact, it is you.
She laboured with this belief everyday for this belief in her. She laboured relentlessly to engrave it in this relationship just like her name was engraved in golden letters on the pen you gifted to her when she was 12.
She worked the hardest. She toughened herself up. But if this belief is born and bred at home, and you have failed to offer it to her in the warm spaces she always returns to, she has not failed along with you.
There is a particular sort of liberation in the realization that the ones you have tried hardest to convince were never worth the hard work; the realization that the hard work was only you all along, the work that has made you strong enough to let go and set out to conquer the world on your own two feet.
The golden engraving has become hazier over the years. The rusty air is eating away the glossy letters. If she hasn't convinced you enough in 19 years, she might not be able to convince you in the next 19 at all. Somewhere during all those years, I think she engraved those letters on her spirit. This time, it holds permanence, even with the leaden air. Above all this mist and beyond these man-made doubts, she learned to trust herself. Today and tonight, she feels, she need not wait 19 years longer. She need not wait at all. She is almost ready to let you go. Ready to leave. She is almost herself.
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